Posted tagged ‘funny’

God, I missed being in school

October 28, 2008

So, luckily Heather was on hand to placate me–I was at the point of slamming my head into the desk and throwing things about the room by the end of this chat with a professor (note, “db”=discussion board for this online class):

Professor> any more questions?

Me > I have one more important one for you as well. On the calendar, you have “DB on weekly readings” due 11/18 and again on 12/3. Which ones are due by that first date?

Professor> the first one

Professor> ok. good night u all

Me > wait, what?

Professor>> has left the room.

Me > the first one?

Sara (names changed for privacy) > hi micheal

Donna > I have no idea

Me > <biting tongue>

Sara > i think its just all of the readings on the study guide up to that date.

Jen > I think he’s talking about the first section of textbook reading.

Me > ok, let’s go with that

Donna > I thought that was already due

Me > how many is that, I’m gonna go check….

Professor>> has entered the room.

Sara > It was already due, i just been going by what’s on the study guid, micheal, you seem to have posted on all of them already, up til today. I’m still posting my for this week.

Professor> I am sorry, I think mike has a question?

Professor> what was that?

Me > yes, which readings’ discussions are due 11/18?

Professor> let me see

Professor> let me see

Professor> from text, as previously stated

Me > no, you have the text as a seperate assignment

Me > on the calendar

Me > this is the DB on weekly readings

Me > the db on the text remaining due dates are 11/28 & 12/3

Professor> So, which one u r referring?

Me > I’ll repeat my original question:

Me > On the calendar, you have “DB on weekly readings” due 11/18 and again on 12/3. Which ones are due by that first date?

Me > that is, of the list of required readings you created on the db, which are due by 11/18?

Professor> Yes,

Professor> and if u see text, then it should include the DB from text

Me > right, but WHICH are due by that first date?

Professor> readings

Me > I understand the difference between the assignments for the readings and the text, but I’m not clear on WHICH readings we must comment on by 11/18

Professor> It goes hand to hand, there is NO must or if/and

Me > OK, let me try to restate…

Me > On the db, you have, under the heading “Required Readings Post your opinions and questions regarding readings here. “, 17 reading which we must comment upon

Me > which of these seventten require commetn by 11/18, and which by 12/3?

Me > (forgive my poor typing)

Professor> It goes from top to bottom, didn’t you know that?

Professor> Any more questions?

Me > I am aware, but where is the cutoff for the 11/18 due date. Since the db sections aren’t dated, there’s no way to be sure what you’re looking for us to comment on in a given week

Professor> I will not, I am keep tracking who comments on what, don’t worry about that.

Professor> Ok, I am leaving, good night all

My favorite part, in retrospect: “It goes hand to hand, there is NO must or if/and“. That’s so Zen. It even rhymes. He’s like a retarded, illiterate prophet.



September 27, 2008

Restating Thomas Kuhn (Sort Of)

June 30, 2008

I love this quote:

  • Anything that is in the world when you’re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works.

  • Anything that’s invented between when you’re fifteen and thirty-five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it.

  • Anything invented after you’re thirty-five is against the natural order of things.

Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt


October 4, 2007

Mailing List Mail #43
Since I stopped running an IT department I’d forgotten what it’s like for things not to work for months on end. Back then, of course, it was a way of life – no one expects IT to work; the successful manager merely has to ensure an invigoratingly frequent variation of the ways in which it doesn’t work.
“Can I access my email again yet?”
“Indeed you can. But now, if you double-click on the Excel icon, your sister will die.”
“My sister?”
“Yeah. It’s a workaround.”


March 13, 2006

Larry David

I like how they keep saying the science isn’t in on global warming. They just don’t know. No proof. But, of course, it’s in on God. Lots of proof on that. Tons of empirical evidence. They got God’s DNA.


Mahr or Less

September 15, 2005

From Bill Mahr’s open letter to the President, which is making it’s way around the internet:

"You've performed so poorly I'm surprised that you
haven't given yourself a medal."

Hee hee hee.

So Funny I’m Crying…

September 8, 2005

…or maybe so infuriating that I’m laughing. I should have known The Onion would trump everyone with their Katrina coverage:

Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld praised the phone support, but noted that it would take months to transfer any equipment from Iraq to New Orleans, saying, “You fight a national disaster with the equipment you have.”

Much more at the above link.